Attaining Perfection

Perfection. It is something that we are all striving for. Or is it? It is easy to get caught up in this idea that we have to do everything just right. We have to be perfect visiting teachers by preparing a lesson each month and offering our help each visit to our teachees. We aren't a good teacher if we don't spend hours on cute, frilly handouts. Little slips ups in our day are what sends us to condemnation. After all, a little sin is still a sin. We get this idea that being righteous means that every second of every day we need 100% faith, 100% perfect choices, and are to never question, doubt, or slip up. And we have to do it all on our own.

I used to have this distorted view that in order for me to reach exaltation, I need to be perfect on all of the commandments, even the small ones. Then, I will qualify for the atonement, which will let me to be resurrected and ready for the celestial kingdom. I know that I am not alone in this thought. Brad Wilcox, in his talk "HIs Grace is Sufficient", told a story of one of his students who shared similar feelings. I remember when I was younger wishing that I should have been baptized when I was 80, because I felt I had messed up too much, I had ruined my baptism at 8. And I was going to continually mess up. So I should have postponed it until my life and mess ups we near over. Then I could wash them all away and I could be perfect when I died.

After all, aren't we commanded to be perfect?

In 3 Nephi 12:48 the Savior says to the Nephites, "Therefore, I would that ye should be perfect, even as I, or your Father who is in Heaven is perfect." He continues on to say in 3 Nephi 27:27, "Therefore, what manner of men ought ye to be? Verily I say unto you, even as I am."

Yes, righteousness is needed for the celestial kingdom. Worthiness is required to make covenants in the saving ordinances performed on Earth. However, sometimes our views of righteousness and what is required of us can get distorted. Satan likes to work on us. He wants us to believe that because we make mistakes and aren't perfect, we are not worthy at all. No matter how small the mistake is. But if this were true, then we would be set up for failure. A loving Father in Heaven would not set us up for failure. And we know that He is loving in two ways. The first is he asked us to call him Father. The being seth all powers of earth and heaven does not ask us to call him a power hungry name, but Father.

The other way is actually the key to attaining perfection. 

John 3:16 states: "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."

This is the scripture that is on a poster at every major sporting event for a reason. Believing in Christ is what power by which we return back to Him and Heavenly Father. But merely believing is not enough. Acting upon that belief, or having faith, is what brings us back. So the question is, what exactly do we have to do?

2 Nephi 31:20 gives us the keys to eternal life.

"Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father, Ye shall have eternal life."

Notice that is doesn't say, "Be perfect, make all the correct decisions and then you can return." It can't say that . That was essentially Satan's plan. He wanted to remove the power of choice and making your own decision. Agency was advocated, even though Heavenly Father knew that meant that we would make mistakes. If we weren't to make mistakes, He would not have sent Christ. So if we think that our own personal perfection is demanded, isn't that rejecting the atonement?

Ok, so perfection is not demanded, but it is still used in the verse.  A little confused? "Having a perfect brightness of hope." Does that mean our faith has to be 100% perfect all the time? I think that is a little bit of wishful thinking. A perfect brightness of hope means that you always hope that God is there loving you and answering your prayers.

So what is the difference?

I remember a time when I was 14 and I didn't exactly believe Heavenly Father was there, but I hoped that He was. So I got down on my knees, praying and pleading until He gave me answer. It was my hope, in a time of lacking faith, that drove me to pray.

Elder Snow of the Seventy, said, "This 'perfect brightness of hope' of which Nephi speaks of is the hope in the Atonement, eternal salvation made possible by the sacrifice of our Savior."

So it is our hope in the atonement that perfects us. This leaded to the question, "How can something that redeems me from my sins help me to become better when I am not sinning?" Being redeemed is just one aspect of the atonement. While very important, there is so much more to help good people become better ones. 

Elder Bednar gave an awesome talk at BYU on this very subject. This is a clip of his words. 

Have you ever embarked on a project, having no idea what you are doing? What is your first action? Some might pridefully say to themselves, "I can do this. I am smart. I can figure it out on my own." And then after falling short a couple of times, what do they do? They realize that they need to ask for help.

When you fail, or are lost, you ask for help. Usually you ask someone who knows what they are doing. After receiving guidance, you realize that you can do it. 

Who better to go to when trials, problems and temptations arise than the Master. The one who resisted all temptations, overcame all challenges, and solved all problems. The one who felt your every "pains and afflictions and temptations," who took upon him your "pains and sicknesses," so that he could "know according to the flesh how to succor [you] according to [your] infirmities" (Alma 7:11-12). He learned how to succor you, so let him.

So that brings on the next question. How?

Elder Bednar gave an example from Nephi in the same talk.

"Nephi is an example of one who knew and understood and relied upon the enabling power of the Savior. In Nephi 7 we recall that the sons of Lehi had returned to Jerusalem to enlist Ishmael and his household in their cause. Laman and others in the party traveling with Nephi from Jerusalem back to the wilderness rebelled, and Nephi exhorted his brethren to have faith in the Lord. It was at this point in their trip that Nephi's brothers bound him with cords and planned his destruction. Now please note Nephi's prayer in verse 17: 'O Lord, according to my faith, which is in thee, wilt thou deliver me from the hands of my brethren; yea, even give me strength that I may burst these bands with which I am bound.'

"Brothers and Sisters, do you know what I likely would have prayed for if I had been tied up by my brothers? My prayer would shave included a request for something bad to happen to my brothers and end with the phrase 'wilt thou deliver me out of the hands of my brethren' or, in other words, 'Please get me out of this mess now!' It is especially interesting to me that Nephi did not pray, as I probably would have prayed, to have his circumstances changed. Rather he prayed for the strength to change his circumstances. And may I suggest that he prayed in this manner precisely because he knew and understood and had experienced the enabling power of the Atonement of the Savior. 

"I personally do not believe the bands with which Nephi was bound just magically fell from his hands and wrists. Rather, I suspect that he was blessed with both persistence and personal strength beyond his natural capacity, that he then 'in the strength of the Lord' (Mosiah 9:17) worked and twisted and tugged on the cords and ultimately and literally was enabled to break the bands."

I remember as I was really starting to get sick, I would pray to remove the illness. When that didn't work, I prayed for an answer to fix it. When that didn't work, I realized that my prayers had been all wrong. I began to pray for the strength to make it through the day. And I was able to. I realized I could focus on my class, then have the energy to come home and do homework.

Another example to apply this to weakness and spiritual struggles. I struggled when I was younger for a spiritual weakness for a long time. It was something that I had struggled with for as long as I could remember. One day, I was fed up with it. I started to pray to Heavenly Father to help me to stop. When I did this, the situations when I struggled with saying no didn't stop coming. It was the strength to say no and change directions that came to me each time that I prayed for it.

Going back to Brad Wilcox's talk, he said, "When a young pianist hits a wrong note, we don't say he is not worthy to keep practicing. We don't expect him to be flawless. We expect him to keep trying. Perfection may be his ultimate goal, but for now we can be content with progress in the right direction. Why is this perspective so easy to see in the context of learning piano but so hard to see in context of learning heaven?"

I took a class on the current apostles from Lloyd Newell (the voice of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and General Conference). He emphasized that we didn't believe the prophets and apostles to be infallible. They were still men and it was okay for them to make mistakes as men. So if the men who are called as especial witnesses of Christ are allowed to still be human, why do we demand ourselves to not be?

I used to get very down and hard on myself whenever I would make mistakes. Everyone would know it too because I would become very withdrawn, and I wouldn't look anyone in the eye because I was trying not to cry. Now I am beginning to understand that it is okay that I am not perfect. Heavenly Father asked us to be perfected, not perfect. That means that I need to put forth my best effort, and ask of His help along the way. 

2 Nephi 25:23 says "for we know that it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do." After all we can do is not when we are done with this life. It is meaning as we put forth our best effort. Be our best selves, and Christ will make us enough. It is not only after we want to give up pulling the hand cart, but it is in each step we took with the hand cart, that Christ has his hands on our backs, guiding us along. It is not only when we are at our whit's end with a friend or family member from giving all of our help with no return, but in each action of mercy and help we give them that we are guided in what to do and say.

One of the last scriptures in the Book of Mormon sums up its entire message:

"Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all of your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye shall be perfected in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God (Moroni 10:32).

Too often we think the order is be perfect, then Christ will receive you. He will receive you no matter what. The order of how we do things is to come to Him first, then he will perfect you.

Once you come to him, then will his power begin to make you the person He knows you can be. Love him with all you have. Love him throughout all of your missteps, failings, and strugglings. That is when his grace will pick you up, dust you off, and say, "Let's do this, together." When you feel yourself walking into darkness, let your "perfect brightness of hope" in His atonement and grace light the way. I believe with every fiber of my being this to be true. He cares with all of the love possible and then some about you, He wants to help you. Let him in, then you will begin to see the changes you wish to see.

For further study:
Becoming Perfect in Christ by Elder Gong in the July 2014 Ensign
Forget Me Not by President Uchtdorf in the October 2011 Conference