Today was the first day of classes for BYU. The great thing about starting on a Tuesday is that means that I had my religion classes first. And may I say, it was a great way to start the year. One of my classes is the Old Testament, the first half. I confess, the reason why I am taking the class is because there are too many weird stories for me to be able to understand on my own, so I am taking the opportunity to take from a Bible scholar a class explaining all of these things.
So with the beginning of classes, where do you always start with the Old testament? The creation.
This is like the equivalent of reading 1 Nephi for me. I have read it and gone through it so many times, that I dread starting there because I know. Or at least that is what I thought when I went to read it today. But I decided to slow down and actually look at what I can learn from it. And surprise!
There was something to learn from it. Maybe these Prophets know what they're saying when they promise there is something new to learn from the scriptures each day.
This is what I learned from Genesis 1. Read through it first for a refresher so that you can understand what I am referring to.
It was interesting to me the process in which God created the Earth and Heavens.
First, He said. He gave a commandment to the materials under his power, and it happened. But he didn't just sit there after He gave his orders. After he commanded, he made, divided, and created. When He created life, He blessed it. He put in His hands and worked so that things went according to His plan. Then after all of that, He saw that it was good.
This teaches me a powerful lesson for me, one of his tools on the earth.
When God commands something to be done, it happens. Now, as man, we are fortunate to have a choice to listen. Regardless of our choice however, it happens. It happens because He goes to work to fulfill His commandments. He makes, divides, and creates so that there is a change. When He does that it is always good. He does not create bad. The difference with us is if we get the blessing He has in store for us. If we follow His commandments, we have the chance to feel His hands going to work to change things for the better. Regardless of the difficulty, it is for the better. Everything He created was good.
So even if they seem more difficult than ever, it it doesn't make sense, or require more effort than you think you could possibly give, it will turn out good if we follow His commandments. Because He is right there, working along side us.
Perfection. It is something that we are all striving for. Or is it? It is easy to get caught up in this idea that we have to do everything just right. We have to be perfect visiting teachers by preparing a lesson each month and offering our help each visit to our teachees. We aren't a good teacher if we don't spend hours on cute, frilly handouts. Little slips ups in our day are what sends us to condemnation. After all, a little sin is still a sin. We get this idea that being righteous means that every second of every day we need 100% faith, 100% perfect choices, and are to never question, doubt, or slip up. And we have to do it all on our own.
I used to have this distorted view that in order for me to reach exaltation, I need to be perfect on all of the commandments, even the small ones. Then, I will qualify for the atonement, which will let me to be resurrected and ready for the celestial kingdom. I know that I am not alone in this thought. Brad Wilcox, in his talk "HIs Grace is Sufficient", told a story of one of his students who shared similar feelings. I remember when I was younger wishing that I should have been baptized when I was 80, because I felt I had messed up too much, I had ruined my baptism at 8. And I was going to continually mess up. So I should have postponed it until my life and mess ups we near over. Then I could wash them all away and I could be perfect when I died.
After all, aren't we commanded to be perfect?
In 3 Nephi 12:48 the Savior says to the Nephites, "Therefore, I would that ye should be perfect, even as I, or your Father who is in Heaven is perfect." He continues on to say in 3 Nephi 27:27, "Therefore, what manner of men ought ye to be? Verily I say unto you, even as I am."
Yes, righteousness is needed for the celestial kingdom. Worthiness is required to make covenants in the saving ordinances performed on Earth. However, sometimes our views of righteousness and what is required of us can get distorted. Satan likes to work on us. He wants us to believe that because we make mistakes and aren't perfect, we are not worthy at all. No matter how small the mistake is. But if this were true, then we would be set up for failure. A loving Father in Heaven would not set us up for failure. And we know that He is loving in two ways. The first is he asked us to call him Father. The being seth all powers of earth and heaven does not ask us to call him a power hungry name, but Father.
The other way is actually the key to attaining perfection.
John 3:16 states: "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."
This is the scripture that is on a poster at every major sporting event for a reason. Believing in Christ is what power by which we return back to Him and Heavenly Father. But merely believing is not enough. Acting upon that belief, or having faith, is what brings us back. So the question is, what exactly do we have to do?
"Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father, Ye shall have eternal life."
Notice that is doesn't say, "Be perfect, make all the correct decisions and then you can return." It can't say that . That was essentially Satan's plan. He wanted to remove the power of choice and making your own decision. Agency was advocated, even though Heavenly Father knew that meant that we would make mistakes. If we weren't to make mistakes, He would not have sent Christ. So if we think that our own personal perfection is demanded, isn't that rejecting the atonement?
Ok, so perfection is not demanded, but it is still used in the verse. A little confused? "Having a perfect brightness of hope." Does that mean our faith has to be 100% perfect all the time? I think that is a little bit of wishful thinking. A perfect brightness of hope means that you always hope that God is there loving you and answering your prayers.
So what is the difference?
I remember a time when I was 14 and I didn't exactly believe Heavenly Father was there, but I hoped that He was. So I got down on my knees, praying and pleading until He gave me answer. It was my hope, in a time of lacking faith, that drove me to pray.
Elder Snow of the Seventy, said, "This 'perfect brightness of hope' of which Nephi speaks of is the hope in the Atonement, eternal salvation made possible by the sacrifice of our Savior."
So it is our hope in the atonement that perfects us. This leaded to the question, "How can something that redeems me from my sins help me to become better when I am not sinning?" Being redeemed is just one aspect of the atonement. While very important, there is so much more to help good people become better ones.
Elder Bednar gave an awesome talk at BYU on this very subject. This is a clip of his words.
Have you ever embarked on a project, having no idea what you are doing? What is your first action? Some might pridefully say to themselves, "I can do this. I am smart. I can figure it out on my own." And then after falling short a couple of times, what do they do? They realize that they need to ask for help.
When you fail, or are lost, you ask for help. Usually you ask someone who knows what they are doing. After receiving guidance, you realize that you can do it.
Who better to go to when trials, problems and temptations arise than the Master. The one who resisted all temptations, overcame all challenges, and solved all problems. The one who felt your every "pains and afflictions and temptations," who took upon him your "pains and sicknesses," so that he could "know according to the flesh how to succor [you] according to [your] infirmities" (Alma 7:11-12). He learned how to succor you, so let him.
So that brings on the next question. How?
Elder Bednar gave an example from Nephi in the same talk.
"Nephi is an example of one who knew and understood and relied upon the enabling power of the Savior. In Nephi 7 we recall that the sons of Lehi had returned to Jerusalem to enlist Ishmael and his household in their cause. Laman and others in the party traveling with Nephi from Jerusalem back to the wilderness rebelled, and Nephi exhorted his brethren to have faith in the Lord. It was at this point in their trip that Nephi's brothers bound him with cords and planned his destruction. Now please note Nephi's prayer in verse 17: 'O Lord, according to my faith, which is in thee, wilt thou deliver me from the hands of my brethren; yea, even give me strength that I may burst these bands with which I am bound.'
"Brothers and Sisters, do you know what I likely would have prayed for if I had been tied up by my brothers? My prayer would shave included a request for something bad to happen to my brothers and end with the phrase 'wilt thou deliver me out of the hands of my brethren' or, in other words, 'Please get me out of this mess now!' It is especially interesting to me that Nephi did not pray, as I probably would have prayed, to have his circumstances changed. Rather he prayed for the strength to change his circumstances. And may I suggest that he prayed in this manner precisely because he knew and understood and had experienced the enabling power of the Atonement of the Savior.
"I personally do not believe the bands with which Nephi was bound just magically fell from his hands and wrists. Rather, I suspect that he was blessed with both persistence and personal strength beyond his natural capacity, that he then 'in the strength of the Lord' (Mosiah 9:17) worked and twisted and tugged on the cords and ultimately and literally was enabled to break the bands."
I remember as I was really starting to get sick, I would pray to remove the illness. When that didn't work, I prayed for an answer to fix it. When that didn't work, I realized that my prayers had been all wrong. I began to pray for the strength to make it through the day. And I was able to. I realized I could focus on my class, then have the energy to come home and do homework.
Another example to apply this to weakness and spiritual struggles. I struggled when I was younger for a spiritual weakness for a long time. It was something that I had struggled with for as long as I could remember. One day, I was fed up with it. I started to pray to Heavenly Father to help me to stop. When I did this, the situations when I struggled with saying no didn't stop coming. It was the strength to say no and change directions that came to me each time that I prayed for it.
Going back to Brad Wilcox's talk, he said, "When a young pianist hits a wrong note, we don't say he is not worthy to keep practicing. We don't expect him to be flawless. We expect him to keep trying. Perfection may be his ultimate goal, but for now we can be content with progress in the right direction. Why is this perspective so easy to see in the context of learning piano but so hard to see in context of learning heaven?"
I took a class on the current apostles from Lloyd Newell (the voice of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and General Conference). He emphasized that we didn't believe the prophets and apostles to be infallible. They were still men and it was okay for them to make mistakes as men. So if the men who are called as especial witnesses of Christ are allowed to still be human, why do we demand ourselves to not be?
I used to get very down and hard on myself whenever I would make mistakes. Everyone would know it too because I would become very withdrawn, and I wouldn't look anyone in the eye because I was trying not to cry. Now I am beginning to understand that it is okay that I am not perfect. Heavenly Father asked us to be perfected, not perfect. That means that I need to put forth my best effort, and ask of His help along the way.
2 Nephi 25:23 says "for we know that it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do." After all we can do is not when we are done with this life. It is meaning as we put forth our best effort. Be our best selves, and Christ will make us enough. It is not only after we want to give up pulling the hand cart, but it is in each step we took with the hand cart, that Christ has his hands on our backs, guiding us along. It is not only when we are at our whit's end with a friend or family member from giving all of our help with no return, but in each action of mercy and help we give them that we are guided in what to do and say.
One of the last scriptures in the Book of Mormon sums up its entire message:
"Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all of your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye shall be perfected in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God (Moroni 10:32).
Too often we think the order is be perfect, then Christ will receive you. He will receive you no matter what. The order of how we do things is to come to Him first, then he will perfect you.
Once you come to him, then will his power begin to make you the person He knows you can be. Love him with all you have. Love him throughout all of your missteps, failings, and strugglings. That is when his grace will pick you up, dust you off, and say, "Let's do this, together." When you feel yourself walking into darkness, let your "perfect brightness of hope" in His atonement and grace light the way. I believe with every fiber of my being this to be true. He cares with all of the love possible and then some about you, He wants to help you. Let him in, then you will begin to see the changes you wish to see.
Today I was studying 2 Nephi 31:20 and it came at me in a whole new way. It was impactful enough I think it will be a good idea to share it.
This scripture is a road map as well as a promise. If we will do certain things, then there will be a reward of something that we truly want.
Our side:
Press forward- there will be many things in our way and darkness over our paths, but if we take it one day at a time, one step at a time, we will be able to overcome the difficulties of the road.
Steadfastness in Christ- He is our guiding light and our foundation. Keeping our eyes and heats on Him each day will help us to be able to make the journey home.
Prefect brightness of hope- Hope is essential. Hope in Christ. That He lives and he completed the Atonement. Hope in His power over death. That hope will light the way to our eternal home.
Love of God and all men- Love will be what motivates us to make righteous decisions. Our love for God will help us to want to be able to do what is right so that we can please Him and return to Him after this life. It will motivate us to serve purely and with all of our hearts. Those two things will be essential on our journey home.
Feasting upon the word- It is not enough to munch once in awhile upon the word. We will miss essential inspirations, spiritual moments and doctrinal insights in our lives. When we feast on his word, we continually seek for, study, and want to know more of His gospel.
Endure to the end- We can't just do these things once and then check it off, never returning to it again. This is a daily to do list. We have to hold fast to the gospel throughout the torrential downpours, landslides, and quicksands of life. This is not a gospel of convenience. We don't follow it only when it suits us, when it fits best in our lives. There will be challenges. With it a voice calling for us to let go. Hold one even when it doesn't make sense. When you do, it will make sense in time. Enduring is the final key because it tests us and our faith. As well as helps us and our faith to make it through each difficulty of life.
Promise: "Ye shall have eternal life"
It is interesting that it doesn't say make perfect choices. Or have 100% righteousness. It doesn't say to be a super mom, super Relief Society president or super visiting teacher. In order to receive Eternal life, we are not required to have super human traits. Heavenly Father knew that we weren't going to be prefect, but He also wanted us to return to live with Him. That is why He sent His Son to suffer for our sins, overcome death and set the example of this lives that we need to live. He does not require us to try to do it on our own, even though our pride and Satan will want us to try. It is merely required that we give our best. Not to be the best, but to be our best. And these are the keys to get there and achieve it. Our best will always be good enough. We cannot fall short if we use every aspect of the atonement to do all that we can to be the best that we can be.
There is a song called "I Am" that has particularly impactful in my life recently. It was shown to me by my Book of Mormon teacher, and it has been in my life ever since.
It is a story of a woman who turned to the Lord many times in her life at different stages and trials. She called Him by the names that she knew him as, as well as why she needed from him at the moment she needed him.
With each plea she makes a different statement that represents the different stages that we all go through with our faith and reliance on him.
1. "Come if you can"- I'm not sure if you love me, but if you do help me
2. "Be my best friend"- I am alone, are you there?
3. "Hold onto my hand"- I can only do this with you
4. "Lord and King, Beginning and the End"- Thy will be done
I want to go through each of these stages, and the importance that they have in our lives and faith.
"Come if you can"
This is the earliest stage of our faith. How can we know of the truth without first a hope in it. Hope that the Savior is there. Hope that what we are being taught is true. We are unsure if he is there or truly loves us. Not us as a people, but the individuals that make up the "us." Our first questions are: "Are you there?"
"Do you love me?"
"Is the Atonement real and can it work in me?"
When we ask with a hope of an answer, really wanting to know, He will respond ,"I AM."
Ether 4:12-15 helps us to learn that we need to first gain a belief in the scriptures and the words that He has spoken. It begins by getting rid of the questions of unbelief and turning them into questions we want to know the answer to, hoping for answers. When we do that, great and marvelous things will be revealed to us.
"Be my best friend"
Just because we believe in the Lord, it doesn't mean that everything is going to be perfect and easy. Once you have faith, it has to be tested. Ether 12:6 states that after the trial of your faith, a witness of the truth comes. During these trials, loneliness might come. It might feel like you are abandoned by everything and everyone. Still, there is one, ready to be there for you, if you call for him. And when you do, your faith becomes a little more solidified. Hope becomes belief that He is there and cares for you.
From Alma 7:11-13 we learn that He did not just suffer for your sins. He suffered ALL. Every little pain, tear, heart break, unkind word and temptation that you have felt and will feel in this life. Why are you so important? Why do your pains matter? In D&C 18:10 He says your should is of great worth. From the one who has all power, you are great to Him. He knew this life would be difficult. So He suffered everything that "his bowels of mercy may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities." He wants to be there for you. You just have to call for him, and ask him to be your best friend. He won't fail you.
"Hold onto my hand"
As we make Him our best friend, we will see just how difficult our tasks in this life will be. Sometimes pride will turn us into the three year old that says, "I can do it by myself." Then we will inevitably fail. We will pick ourselves up again to try once more, only to fall back into the mud. It is when we are brought into the depths of humility that we see his hands extended to us (Jacob 6:5). When we reach for it, we will not want to let go until we pass through the trial. That is when we will cry to hold onto our hand. And He will. It is only when we, ourselves, let go that we will fall again. But when we cling with all of our might to the Savior's hands, we can pass through the rocks, over the hill-climbs, stay out of the crevices, and be brought back into His presence. As we do this, our faith will become knowledge. We will know and trust Him. We will not want to do anything without his help and strength.
Ether 12:27 teaches us that we are given weaknesses, or stumbling blocks, so that we will see and know who is in charge. So we can see who it is that is changing us and helping us home. When we are humble, believing that he will help us change, that is when we can make weaknesses strengths. With the strength of the Lord, we are unstoppable (Philippians 4:13).
"Lord and King, Beginning and the End"
When we make this plea, this is a sign of true conversion. We fully recognize who is in charge and that His plan is greater than ours. Then we can say at the end of our pleadings to Him, "Thy will be done." We will be truly like the Savior when we say "Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me; nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done" (Luke 22:42), "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do" (Luke 23:34), "Behold thy mother!" (John 19:27), and when we have done all that is required of us, "It is finished!" John 19:30. No longer will matters of the world be our wants and desires. Our own needs will not be first. We will want to do the Lord's will first, the see to the needs of others. When both are done, we will see our needs will become filled.
In Alma 22:15 King Lamoni's father promised that he would "give up all that I posses, yea, I will forsake my kingdom, that I may receive this joy." He did just that and received numerous blessings. The final part of receiving true peace and comfort is giving all to the Lord, willing to do whatever it is that is required of us. When we do that, we will have the peace of eternal life and exaltation. Nothing can be greater than that.
I have had experiences with each parts of these stages, although I don't claim to be all the way through each stage fully. My experiences with each of these parts don't matter. What matters is that you have your own experiences in these stages. That is when you will learn, having your unbelief turned to hope. Your hope turned to faith. Your faith turned to knowledge. And your knowledge turned to true conversion.
I know without a doubt that our Heavenly Father and our Redeemer are there for each of us so that we do not have to climb through our trials alone. I have felt their hands in my life. It is my hope that each person that reads this will be able to come to that same knowledge, and feel the blessings of that knowledge in their lives.
First off, I apologize again for the radio silence. At least it was only a couple of weeks this time. It has much to do with the odd subject line, although probably not in the way that you would expect. I decided to make this post a little light hearted because of the seriousness of the last post.
So the last two weeks I have had an amazing opportunity to be a counselor for a program called Retreat for Girls at Utah State University. It is an LDS based inspirational program for girls ages 12-15. We lift, inspire and teach young girls and their testimonies in Christ. All while having loads of fun. And as a counselor, get next to zero sleep. It is the best part of my year each time that I have done it.
Second session, when the girls were registering and meeting their counselors Elder Neil L Andersen walked through the door with his granddaughters. There was this sudden stop, then surge of panic through all of the counselors as to who would be entrusted with his precious posterity. We returned to normalcy once he left to drop them off at their dorms. We also were aware of another granddaughter of a different apostle that would be coming that week. That story is for a different time.
The week came and went way too fast. It was filled with joy, the Spirit, many inside jokes, disciplining, some tears, a few drops of blood, much more laughter, and amazing memories. By the end of the week, all of us counselors were exhausted. There were a group of us that were headed to various points between Logan and Provo and so we decided that we should caravan together in order to ensure everyone's safe return home. But first, we needed to stop and eat because there was no dinner provided Friday night. After cleaning up all of our hall decorations, packing up all of the stuff we brought plus the extras we got that week, then saying drawn out goodbyes to our dear, newly made friends, we got to Jimmy John's at about 9:30 at night.
Two of the girls were worried about making it home without falling asleep and so they broke their personal standard and had caffeine for the very first time. They were nervous to see how it effected them, but they knew they needed something to ensure a safe drive. We laughed, reminisced, and carried on despite the workers trying to close around us. At about five after ten, I watched this older couple walk through the doors. The workers informed them that they were closed, so they turned around and began walking to their hotel across the parking lot. When the man turned, it hit me as to why the man looked so familiar. I exclaimed, "Guys, that's L. Tom Perry!" Due to the lack of sleep we all had, it took a couple of times of me saying it for the majority of the group to understand what I had just said. In a mad rush, we grabbed our trash and got out of the restaurant at world record setting pace. The workers were immediately confused and sadly said, "Ok bye." Most of us were too distracted to even think of those who rudely turned away an apostle of the Lord.
When we got out of the restaurant, all kind of stopped short. There he was walking hand in hand with his wife walking slowly to the other side of the lot, and we had no idea what to do to get his attention. So of course the first thing you do is pretend to try to find your car. We had about 6 cars there, but of course he was walking past ours so we needed to quickly come up with another way to pretend run into him.
With our tired minds drawing complete blanks, we followed him to the door of the hotel that he and his wife were staying at. Their key cards weren't working as so we watched him struggle to open the door. Before we could think to offer to help him, a man staying the hotel opened the door for him. They walked in, and our hopes of meeting an apostle quickly faded. The man who opened the door saw our disappointed faces and held the door open for us. We rushed in to see if we could find him. Somehow his aged legs had once again outran us, as we walked into the empty lobby. At this point we kind of regrouped, trying to figure out what had just happened. We asked the girls who just drank caffeine for the first time how they were feeling, and one explained that her heart was racing. Between the panic and the caffeine we could all tell she was a little excited.
As we caught our breath and lowered our heart rates, we once again saw Elder Perry and his wife walk through out the door. Our hopes immediately shot back up, and rushed back out of the lobby after them. We didn't make it past the first row of cars in the lot, suddenly realizing how fast our chances were slipping away. I had the random idea to jump in front of his car, so that he would have to hit me, then check to see if I was okay. Another counselor added on that I might get so hurt, he might have to give me a blessing.
There were three cars leaving at once, so figuring out which one was his was a little difficult. We slowly walked out into the parking lot, only to watch Elder Perry's wife drive there car very slowly out of the lot and our sight. Dragging any hopes of meeting him with them.
At this point, we were still in shock in what was going on. Then one of the counselors shouts, "I'm going to tell those Jimmy John's workers what they just did!" Back across the parking lot we go, and she informs them what they did. The worker she talked to was some high school punk, who just really had no idea who an apostle was, let alone that he turned away one. We walked out and stood on the side walk, and laughed about the events that happened, and the many ways that we messed up. We joked about how it was because of the girls breaking their personal commitments to obtain from caffeine that we had this experience. It was probably the best way we could have ended two amazing weeks of cultivating the spirit. I think we are all still in awe of being able to even be near such an amazing man.
On our drive out of the canyon, I talked with the counselor that I was driving home about what had happened. I told her of an experience 5 years ago, when President Monson sat in front of my high school music group. I talked about how sad it was that the kids had no idea who he was. Then we talked about their special callings and all that being an Apostle entails.
Apostles have an amazing spirit with them. They have the opportunity to commune with the Savior on a different level than you or I. They are called to be special witnesses of His name. They also hold all of the keys of the priesthood. Because of this, they have the spirit with them constantly. As I reflect on this experience, I have come to realize something. The reason why we were so excited and willing to stalk Elder Perry across a parking lot is because we knew what his calling was. We were drawn to the spirit within him, and we wanted to partake in it. We were hesitant to call out to him because we didn't want to bother him. We were like the Woman with the issue of blood, where we wanted to have our spiritual wounds healed, but didn't want to draw attention to ourselves.
This has made me think. How will I react when I see Christ again? Will I turn them away, not knowing he is? Will I turn away, afraid of him being able to see all that I have done? Maybe I will follow after him, trying to continually see him, but unsure of whether or not I will be a bother to him. Or will I call after his name, so that I can fall to his feet, thanking and worshipping him.
Just seeing Elders Perry and Andersen was enough for me to know that they are in fact apostles of the Lord. Feeling of the spirit they carry with them, and seeing the light within their eyes, I know without a doubt they are special witnesses of the Lord. I didn't need to meet them personally to know their words are true, and that they have a special love for me, as a member of this church. But it also gave me a new resolve. I want to be able to have the courage to call out to the Savior, or a representative of him, and present myself as worthy to be in their presence. I want to be able to show my testimony through my eyes, confident of the truth that I know. I don't want to do it out of being able to say that I met them. I want to do it to show them that "I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ" and I am doing all that I can to be a worthy member of his church. They will see that just by looking into my eyes. And I want to be ready for that.
Don't you hate when blogs all of the sudden drop off of the face of the earth? Not that mine is super good, so I am sure it wasn't missed too badly. But still I apologize for the mass posts and then a three month hiatus. I hate excuses, but allow me to explain why this occurred. First, I put off my Book of Mormon project posting for too long and that is why there were so many posts at once. Then came spring term. This phenomenon at BYU is a half semester where you can take half the credits, sit through two hour classes and do the whole thing in super speed. I had 6 credits planned (equivalent of 12 credits in a normal semester). Then I listened to Quentin L Cook's conference talk on family history and I decided to get my butt in gear by taking a family history course. This brought me to 8 credits (equivalent of 16, the heaviest BYU load I have ever taken...or will take). This occurred after I had picked up a second job as a track coach for the city of Provo.
Yup. Two jobs and a heavy course load. Oh, and each of my classes required extensive out of classroom projects that asked about 10-15 hours outside of class doing something having to do with experiential learning.
Not that I am excused from working on my testimony and sharing it with others, but does this help explain why I disappeared?
BUT now that is all over, I am down to only one job and no school. So I now have time to share my thoughts again. You can choose whether or not to celebrate it by reading the rest of what I have to say. I have chosen to celebrate by talking about a charged subject in which has caused some major controversy within the church: Women wanting to be ordained to the priesthood.
Before I start I want to say my point in sharing is not to change someone or their opinion. I do not have the power to take away someone's choices to take a certain opinion, and I don't really want to have that power or pretend that I have it. I do not want to argue. If we are arguing, we can no longer feel the spirit and be guided to the truth. My point is to give people something to think about when considering the question. But I really just want people, man or woman, to carefully consider the gospel, the church, and their own personal stance. And to pray to be guided through the whole process.
I first want to start off by giving background to anyone who is not a member of this church and might not understand why this is such a problem. In the Old Testament there are records of the prophets who have the mantle of the Holy Priesthood. The priesthood is the authority that leaders have received from God to act in his name. It is the power to make binding promises and to undo binding promises. Noah passed his mantle to one of his sons, it passed to Abraham and so on. The heads of families received the priesthood, having the power to lead their families and ensure their righteousness. The book, True to the Faith, which explains principles and doctrine of the church, states, "The exercise of priesthood authority in the Church is governed by those who hold priesthood keys. Those who hold priesthood keys have the right to preside over and direct the Church within a jurisdiction" (page 126). Through inspiration from the Lord, the patriarch of the family in Old Testament times would use the priesthood to lead their families. In the New Testament when Christ was on the Earth, he brought the priesthood to Peter, James and John on the Mount of Transfiguration. Matthew 17:1-13 tells the story of Moses and Elias coming and the men were transfigured so that they could withstand their presence. When they could they received the priesthood. This gave them the authority to direct the church when Christ left. After the apostles were killed, we believe the authority was taken from the Earth, and was restored to Joseph Smith. Since then it has been passed down to direct the church and to perform acts on behalf of the Lord. At first the authority was given to select men throughout the early history of the church. In 1978 Spencer W Kimball, the Prophet and leader of the Church at the time, had a revelation to make it available to all worthy men of the church. The authority of the priesthood has not ever been extended to women. Although I am sure that this isn't the first time the question has been raised, but in the past couple of years a movement was started to attempt to bring attention to women feeling as though they are left out of important roles in the church because we do not receive the priesthood authority.
I can understand why the movement got started. There is a lot of history of women being oppressed in the past. Women have had to fight for every right that they have in the US. We had to fight for the right to vote. We had to step up and work when the men were off at war. Some even fought in the war, doing more than just being a war nurse.
In the time since women have done amazing things, clawing their way to the top. Women are becoming power holding vice presidents of large companies, senators, Supreme Court justices, and are running for president of the US. It has become normal to go to a female doctor, to have a female lawyer or female state governor. All of these things were almost unheard of 30 years ago. Awareness of the need for female equality has made women a huge apart of the decision making in many important choices in recent history.
Even in ancient history women have been apart of important events. In Judges 4 there is the story of Deborah, a prophetess and a judge in Israel. She and Barak had to work together to save Israel.
So if all of this progress has been made in the world for the equality of women, why is it that women have not received the priesthood? The LDS church is all about love and inclusion. Wouldn't extending the priesthood to all worthy members help to do that? Women could be even more apart of the decision making and leadership roles in the church.
To begin to understand the answer to this question, there is a certain principle that must first be understood. The church loves women. Talks like The Moral Force of Women and Forget Me Not show just how much the leaders of this church care of their women members. Of my interactions with church leadership I have never been treated with anything but the utmost respect. Some of my interactions have included those who are in constant contact with General Authorities of the church. I realize this doesn't prove much, but I want this to be the foundation of what I want to say.
Okay let's now talk about the differences between men and women, as well as the differences between individuals. I don't think I need to go into graphic details when I say that men and women are built differently. That is just a fact. And there is good reason behind it. It takes differences to work together and make a partnership. If everyone was a cookie cutter, then it would be difficult to accomplish hard tasks because there wouldn't be different perspectives taken. Being built differently is not a disadvantage to any one sex. How our bodies are anatomically designed is to give each person the best advantage to fulfilling their divine mission given to them by our Heavenly Father. It doesn't make one sex better than the other, but it is to assist them in partnering together to create a family and work together in fulfilling the Lord's laws. If you have any question about this, I highly recommend taking an anatomy class with the perspective of learning about God's greatest creations. (Side note: I didn't take anatomy at BYU, but I still felt the spirit everyday testifying that we were created with a divine plan to help us achieve our work here on Earth).
Let's talk about how these differences are relevant to this topic. I am a female working in a male dominated field, as a personal trainer. I work very hard in the gym to work on my strength, and I am quite proud of what I have accomplished. I have moved into and out of an apartment completely by myself, lifting very heavy loads. I lift more weight than some men in the gym. But when I am married and I need a box moved I am most likely going to ask my husband. Not because I don't have the capability to do it myself, but my arms are probably going to be full comforting the kid that just tripped over it. It won't be my role to comfort the kid and my husband's role to move the box. But because I have been born with a blessed gift to give comfort through holding a child close to me, I will act in the best strength suited to the partnership between me and my husband. And because I have been blessed to be a woman, it will most likely be that I will be the one comforting the child, while my husband fixes the problem. Take the woman out of it. Through my experiences with my nieces and nephews and other children, I have seen that I have a talent to comfort, entertain, and teach children. I plan to use this talent to bless my future family more than my talent to build strength because that is what will be needed of me. Individual, unique talents are what blesses lives and families, and should be exercised with the intent to do just that.
Often in this debate The Proclamation on the Family is quoted. I hope that my interpretation can give a different view on this matter.
"By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers obligated to help one another as equal partners."
Put aside the cultural defined gender role here for a second. I see this statement as pointing out individual strengths and talents that exist in Heavenly Father's divine creations. He planned differences, and I see this as inspired words from those who are in constant close communication pointing out those differences. Look at the individual. I am very different than you are. Your talents were given to you to help bless lives in the way that only you can do. I have my talents for the the same reason. The leaders of this church are saying this exact thing. Men are blessed with the ability to know how to protect and provide for his family because in Heavenly Father's Plan of Happiness he knew that this would be the best way that they can bless their family. Women are blessed with the sacred responsibility of carrying a child, then being able to nurture them for the same exact reason. Each family is different in how this is executed, but you cannot deny these are the talents given.
Ok so why is this so important for the debate? Can't women help nurture their children by giving their children priesthood blessings right away? I will not deny that I have received major comfort in receiving blessings. That has been through the spirit being administered to me, giving me the peace of Christ. However, priesthood is administration. True to the Faith states that it is "the eternal power and authority of God." That through "priesthood God creates and governs the heavens and the earth."
So now we're back to oppression and men only administration, or some view it as such. D&C 131:1-4 states that in order for men to reach exaltation they have to enter into the new order of priesthood, being eternally sealed to a spouse. So men need women in order to be in the fullest order of the priesthood. This isn't an oppression, but a way to strengthen the partnership between man and woman in marriage. D&C 121:36-37 states:
"That the rights of the priesthood are inseparably connected with the powers of heaven, and that they powers of heaven cannot be controlled nor handled only upon the principles of righteousness. That they may be conferred upon us, it is true; but when we undertake to cover our sins, or to gratify our pride, our vain ambition, or to exercise control or dominion or compulsion upon the souls of the children of men, in any degree of unrighteousness, behold, the heavens withdraw themselves; the Spirit of the Lord is grieved; and when it is withdrawn. Amen to the priesthood or the authority of that man."
If women are being oppressed through priesthood, then it is being used unrighteously and they have lost the spirit. I feel utter sadness for both people involved.
This scripture shows another thing though. Every conference (general, stake, ward), members sustain the leadership of the Church as prophets, seers, and revelators. In order to get a temple recommend you have to say that you sustain Thomas S. Monson as the prophet and leader of this church. That means members truly believe that he has the power of heaven. He is the only one with authorized keys to lead this church. This scripture states that in order for him to lead this church, he can only do so under the principles of righteousness. If he exercises dominion (oppression being a classic example), then he would lose those keys. And many scriptures and conference talks say that if he was leading the church astray, the Lord would remove him. I believe with every ounce of my being that Thomas S. Monson is the Lord's true and living prophet on the Earth today. I have searched for the answer for myself and I cannot deny it.
Now that oppression has been addressed, let's talk about the men only thing.
First, the priesthood gives men opportunities to serve others, God and themselves in ways that would not come to them otherwise. My first winter break in college, I went out with a friend who did not grow up with a worthy priesthood holder in his home. I became very sick and we had to come home early. My mom and I both knew that I needed a priesthood blessing, it wasn't the first time this problem surfaced. My dad was at work, so we had to call their home teacher, who happened to be with the bishop. They left their families and came to our house at 11:30 at night, on New Year's Eve. This experience served three fold. One, I was able to recover better than I otherwise would have. Two, my friend got to see worthy men drop everything to help someone in need. Three, they were able to serve me, and receive the blessings of it. It would not have had the same effect if my mom were able to just do it.
Along those same lines, it allows men to develop talents that they would not otherwise develop. My father was not really one to be affectionate with his kids. I have always known my dad to be very loving and caring, but he is not the touchy feely type. The only comfort I have received from my father was through priesthood blessings. His blessings has helped me through difficult trials that arose in our family, and not fear moving 800 miles away to go to a school where I barely knew 5 people. My father's worthy exercising of the priesthood has allowed me to see a whole new side of him that would not have come if my mom was the holder in the family. I have gained a whole new love for my father because of these experiences. He is not the only one. I have seen men step up and ensure welfare of people they would not have otherwise gotten to know because of their priesthood responsibilities. Women reach out and care for others without the priesthood. I have seen it inside and outside of the church. Priesthood responsibilities have helped men to discover, develop and exercise new talents that women already naturally have.
Third, women are not left out of administration of the church. I have seen my mother serve in many leadership positions, including Young Women's president of a struggling group of girls, and Relief Society President in a very needy ward. For those who know how the church works, both of those jobs require a lot of work and leadership. My mom has gotten up as early as 5:30 in the morning to go to administration meetings and participate in making sure the ward ran smoothly and all of the members were being taken care of. Women's perspectives are taken very seriously in church administration. However, men have a talent in protecting. Who get's the most flack in the church? The Prophet, or the General Relief Society President? The men filling the large and heavy leadership roles prevent women from being dragged through the mud like the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve do every day. It is not for the glory of being the leader, it is to prevent good honorable women from being denigrated by petulant people. The church loves women and want them to be cared for. This is one way this is administered. The General Relief Society, Young Women and Primary Presidents input are listened to and well received. They meet regularly with the presiding councils of the church. But their reputations are not the ones attempted to be destroyed. Because they are being looked after by the leading men of this church.
One more personal experience to bring this full circle. As I mentioned before I have seen my mother in leadership callings inside of the church. My mother has a wonderful talent for taking assignments and following through until they are over. She can see the good in each individual and can see how to best help them. If she can't do either of these, she knows exactly who she can turn to for help in order for tasks to be done, and everyone to be cared for. On the other side, I have mostly seen my dad in supportive callings in the church. He is always the counselor, and when he does have leadership roles, it is still in support of someone over him. He is the most supportive man that I know. He works so hard so that I can go to school. He is always that one to check on my siblings to ensure they are okay. He takes responsibilities given to him and he gives his best to fill them. He supports my mom in each of her difficult callings, and she will attest that the only reason why she does well is because is there for her every step of the way. So my mom is a leader, my dad is a supporter. However, inside of their marriage this changes. Each sets aside personal pride and work together to lead their family. They both fill the talents laid out in the proclamation on the family. My father has a new opportunity to lead and my mom has a new opportunity to support. One is not over the other, but they use their unique talents to bless each other. Because of the distribution, they have gained new talents that they otherwise would not have.
This life is about growth and fulfilling our divine missions given to us by our Heavenly Father. The priesthood is a serious responsibility that is given to men so that they can grow, learn and bless lives in ways they otherwise would not be able to. Women are not denied access to the blessings of the priesthood, married or single. A loving Heavenly Father knows women and knows that they can bless lives without that responsibility. And he wants to ensure they are cared for and protected, because they have a heavy, wonderful responsibility to carry, birth and care for children. So men have been blessed with that chance. Administration in this church is through divine revelation from the Lord. He has a specific purpose for how the church is set up. And I will faithfully serve in every way that I can in the ways that He has set because I know that He sees all. He knows more than I do. Isaiah 55:8-9 states that "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts."
I hope that I have brought up things to consider when it comes to this sensitive topic. My last suggestion is to encourage you to ask and find out for yourself. The most quoted verse in the church is James 1:5: "If any man lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him." The Definition of upbraid is to find fault or reproach severely. Don't go into the prayer forcing God to change. Ask, truly wanting to know, why things are the way they are. Then diligently search church materials and I assure you will find an answer.
Here is a good place to start. This comes from a single woman, a former General Relief Society President, and is the first woman to be the executive of Deseret Book (the church's publishing company).
Knowledge is the foundation for all other attributes. Struggling with hope? Increase your knowledge of what we have to hope for. Need more patience? Search the scriptures to understand what we have coming to us and why it is worth waiting for. Slipping into old sins? Study the commandments and their importance in our lives. Do you feel pride beginning stand in your way? Turn to the scriptures to see what is bigger than us, and who to give credit to.
Christ is an example of two major things that are important when it comes to knowledge.
2 Nephi 21:2, a prophesy from Isaiah about Christ, says: "The spirit of the Lord shall rest upon him, the spirit of wisdom and understanding, the spirit of counsel and might, the spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the Lord."
The knowledge that we gain of the gospel comes through the Spirit of the Lord. However, the knowledge didn't just come to him, and it won't just come to us. He had to search the scriptures, and the Spirit taught him the knowledge that he needed. How else could he quote Isaiah, Malachi and Micah in 3 Nephi?
The Sons of Mosiah saw an angel and were called to repentance. They still had to search "the scriptures diligently, that they might know the word of God. But this is not all; they had given themselves to much prayer, and fasting" (Alma 17:2-3).
Search, with prayer and fasting, the scriptures, so that you can wax "strong in the knowledge of the truth" and be of "sound understanding...[of] the word of God." The gospel is not given to us on a silver platter. We get out of the scriptures what we put in to our study.
The other important side of knowledge is to teach it to others. Christ has a powerful knowledge of the scriptures. He didn't keep it to himself, even though if he did, it would have saved his life. He was bold and shared the word of God. He cared more about what Heavenly Father would have him do, than what his peers would have him do. A lesson that we can learn from.
When Alma opened his mouth he found that "for because of the word which he imparted unto me, behold, many have been born of God, and have tasted as I have tasted, and have seen eye to eye as I have seen; therefore they do know of these things of which I have spoken, as I do know; and the knowledge which I have is of God" (Alma 36:26).
Our knowledge is not just for us. While there are many blessings that will come to us from the knowledge that we gain, there are many out there that lack the wonderful knowledge that we have. Christ had a mission to establish the true church, with the proper order. We know have the mission to continue spreading that church to every ear.
We first have to gain knowledge. But once that is complete share it. Study the scriptures diligently, asking for help to understand the word. Then help others to do the same.
Scriptures for further study:
Blessings of having knowledge: 1 Nephi 1:1, 1 Nephi 15:14, 2 Nephi 10:20, 2 Nephi 15:13, 2 Nephi 32:7, Mosiah 2:33, Mosiah 4:5-6,11-12, Mosiah 14:11, Mosiah 18:30, Mosiah 28:2, Alma 9:23, Alma 12:7, Alma 23:15, Alma 24:30, Alma 32:34-35, Alma 47:36, Helaman 6:34, Helaman 14:30, 3 Nephi 1:25, 3 Nephi 5:20, Momon 7:5, Ether 3:19-20, Moroni 7:15-17
How to get knowledge: 1 Nephi 19:5, Mosiah 5:4, Alma 18:34-35, Alma 32:21,26,29, Alma 37:8-10, 3 Nephi 16:4, Mormon 9:36, Ether 4:13
What to do with our knowledge: 2 Nephi 3:12, Mosiah 18:26, Mosiah 23:10, Mosiah 27:36, Alma 17:2-3, Mormon 8:16, Moroni 10:10
