Joseph Smith: A Testimony of a Prophet of God

Once upon a time, I read something on Facebook that made me sad and worried. Ok maybe not just once. Let's try that again.

Many times, I read things on Facebook that make me sad and worried. But usually, I move on, hoping that the person behind the post(s) would have a better day. Recently, I had an experience reading a conversation between several people, that really made me think. Usually, I still move on. Obviously this time is different though because it has motivated this blog post.

So recently the church released a statement about a controversial subject of the church's history. It was from the church, and was as honest as possible. However, the sharing of the post by a person unleashed some comments about how this piece of history proved the Joseph's calling as a prophet, the truthfulness of the church, and realness of Heavenly Father did not deserve faith. Although I didn't know the people, this made me sad for them. I don't think they will see this post, but I want to share my testimony to the contrary in case they ever will.

For me to be able to give a specific experience explaining how I came to the knowledge of Joseph Smith being called as a prophet of God would be impossible. I learned as Christ and many others did; I did "receive not of the fulness at first, but received grace for grace; And he received not a fulness and first, but continued from grace for grace until he received a fullness" (D&C 93:12-13). I cannot say that I have received a fullness. No, I am far from it. But I have received grace for grace, and will do so until I receive it.

I read the Book of Mormon and prayed to know it was true. Although I didn't receive it right away, that prayer was answered. I visited where Joseph walked and died and felt the spirit that important men died there. I studied the history of the church, realizing that it could only happen with the help of a divine being. I heard numerous testimonies from others and each time I felt the Holy Spirit confirming it to be true. I am continually trying to learn of the things Joseph, and other prophets, did. And each new thing that I learn, I feel a confirmation that these things could only be done by men called of God to carry out the restoration of this gospel.

Do I understand everything that Joseph did? No. Do I understand every aspect of the gospel? Not even close. But I can say, without a doubt in my mind, that Joseph did see God and Jesus Christ. I know that through divine inspiration he translated the Book of Mormon, restored God's authority to this Earth, and restored the church that Christ built while on this Earth. 

Like Nephi in the Book of Mormon, "I know that [God] loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things" (1 Nephi 11:17). 

In studying the Old Testament and the History of the Church, I have many of times scratched my head in confusion. There are many things that God has commanded that doesn't make sense to me. But I have learned that they don't have too. I have seen enough resolve of his commandments to know that even if it doesn't make sense to me, it does to him. When he commands something, he has a divine purpose to it. As was said in Isaiah 55:8-9:

"For as my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts."

God knows what he is doing. And he has placed men on this earth to be his mouthpieces so that his works will go forth. I believe with all of my heart that Joseph Smith was one of them. With Joseph's life and many others, Heavenly Father brought the fulness of the truth back to the earth. I am so grateful to be apart of it and the blessings that is has brought into my life.

But it is not my hope that you read that testimony and think, "Oh, that's nice for her," and move on. There is something more I wish to share.

This past General Conference, Elder Andersen gave an AMAZING and powerful testimony to the divine calling of Joseph Smith, and how we can come to that same knowledge.

How did Joseph come to have the first vision? He humbly knelt in a grove, away from all distractions, and asked a question. He wanted to know which church to join. 

Elder Andersen said that we too, will receive answers to our questions, when we kneel in faith truly wanting to know the truth. They may not all be an answer as grand as Joseph's, but there will be an answer.

Elder Christofferson shared what happened for him:

At the age of 17 David O. McKay, 9th president of the church, decided to pray alone in a field, until he knew for himself the church to be true. He prayed as long as he could, but still received no answer. It wasn't until many years later and he had a few months left in his mission that he received an answer to the prayer. It came through the words of his mission president and a spiritual confirmation.

In each of these experiences the answers came in different ways. The point is, the answer always came.

If you truly want to know the truth, kneel in faith, asking if it is true. If the answer doesn't come, keep seeking until it does come. And when it comes, make that a foundation of faith. Then build on that foundation, strengthening it always. If your foundation has crumbled, that is okay. Find and fill the cracks, but searching the scriptures and words of the prophets, asking for spiritual confirmation along the way. But I challenge you to seek for the truth. I cannot describe all of the blessings my faith has brought me. They are so numerous, that I can't even recognize them all. My wish is for all that read this post to have the same opportunity.

Talks for further study:

Safety for the Soul by Elder Holland October 2009

Can You Feel So Now? by Elder Cook October 2012

"Lord, I Believe" by Elder Holland April 2013

The Prophet Joseph Smith by Elder Corbridge April 2014

Having Our Strength Faithened

General Conference was awesome wasn't it?

Every speaker said something that I needed to hear and work on. I look forward to the coming months to be able to study their words again and be reminded of the good messages that were shared. 

There was one thing though that I have been really thinking about.

I'm not sure how many of you caught it, but one of the opening prayers was given by a nervous member of the seventy. While attempting to pray for the members faith to be strengthened, he got a little mixed up and first prayed for our strength to be faithened. He stopped, corrected his mistake and finished his beautiful prayer. 

At first when I heard this I chuckled, because I do that ALL the time. But when he corrected himself a thought came to me. Maybe we need to have our strength faithened too. I thought about that a little bit the next couple of days and then put it in the back of my mind. 

But then this appeared on my Facebook feed:

Then my thoughts about that statement came back to me all over again. I realize that this is a joke but maybe there could be more to it.

"Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in the heaviness through manifold temptations: That the trial of your faith, being more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honor and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ." -1 Peter 1:6-7

Trials are meant to test and strengthen our faith. They help us to turn to Our Savior and rely on the enabling power of the atonement. This phrase of having our strength faithened made me think. How many times do I go through trials relying more on strength than faith?

When I go through rough patches and struggles, I have a tendency to tuck my head in, grit my teeth, and just fight my way through. Which is not a bad thing, but it isn't the best thing. It is not my ability to get through it that is being tested.

I have found that often times when I am doing a hard workout, taking a hard class, or needing to do a difficult thing, it is not my ability to do that is lacking. It is my mental ability to let myself get through it that is struggling. I don't trust myself or others and then I fall short. The same can happen in trials.

When I am in big trials and I feel like I can't go any further, I pray for help to go through it. Then I wake up the next day, and go about my business. I usually go another few days before asking for help again. In between relying on my own faith. What usually occurs are my days and weeks rise and fall with the use of my faith in conjunction with my strength. A graph of good times peak and fall like a boat in a storm. I have always come out on the other side of my life's storms, but with a little bit more sea sickness and trembling knees than I probably needed. 

It is not my strength that needs added to. I can get through things. It is my faith that needs added to, in order to best be refined to the person that Heavenly Father needs me to be.

One of my favorite Hymns is Lead, Kindly Light:

What I love about this song is it is turning both the will and the lead to the Father. It is saying, I can't do this on my own anymore, take me to where I need to be. How many times do we say to ourselves, "I can do this. I can do this. I can do this," and then fall flat?

Sister Dalton once said:

"Prior to this calling, I had a small plate inscribed with a motto that said, 'I can do hard things.' That little plate bearing that simple motto gave me courage. But now if I could change that motto, it would read: 'In the strength of the Lord, I can do all things.'"

There are two components for going through trials. Strength and faith. Having one without the other can alter the outcome from what the Lord had intended to teach us. 

Paul wrote to Timothy:

I want to be able to look back on my life and not only be able to say that I have fought the good fight, but also to say, I have kept the faith.

It is my testimony that when we pray for strength to go through our trials, fight temptation, and conquer weaknesses, that the prayer is answered. We do not, and should not, have to go through it alone. Gritting our teeth until it is over is ok, but not the best. When we combine our strength with the enabling power of the atonement, we can have the ability to learn and grow through the tumultuous times in our lives. We can be as Nephi, through our faith and strength, be able to break the bounds that others try to put on our righteousness (In the Strength of the Lord). We can be as Abraham, through our faith and strength, and give over everything to the Lord (Genesis 22). 

The trials of our faith may not be to go into the wilderness and have our siblings turn on us or to sacrifice a child, but they will still demand similar things. Strong faith and faith filled strength. The Lord knows what it is that he wants us to learn and become. Heavenly Father has provided ways for us to make it through the storms and the calms of life without having to be alone. The Savior is there for us, and wants us to succeed in overcoming the difficult parts of life. If we put our faith and strength in him, we can overcome anything.

A lesson learned from the Creation

Today was the first day of classes for BYU. The great thing about starting on a Tuesday is that means that I had my religion classes first. And may I say, it was a great way to start the year. One of my classes is the Old Testament, the first half. I confess, the reason why I am taking the class is because there are too many weird stories for me to be able to understand on my own, so I am taking the opportunity to take from a Bible scholar a class explaining all of these things.

So with the beginning of classes, where do you always start with the Old testament? The creation.

This is like the equivalent of reading 1 Nephi for me. I have read it and gone through it so many times, that I dread starting there because I know. Or at least that is what I thought when I went to read it today. But I decided to slow down and actually look at what I can learn from it. And surprise! 

There was something to learn from it. Maybe these Prophets know what they're saying when they promise there is something new to learn from the scriptures each day.

This is what I learned from Genesis 1. Read through it first for a refresher so that you can understand what I am referring to.

It was interesting to me the process in which God created the Earth and Heavens.

First, He said. He gave a commandment to the materials under his power, and it happened. But he didn't just sit there after He gave his orders. After he commanded, he made, divided, and created. When He created life, He blessed it. He put in His hands and worked so that things went according to His plan. Then after all of that, He saw that it was good. 

This teaches me a powerful lesson for me, one of his tools on the earth.

When God commands something to be done, it happens. Now, as man, we are fortunate to have a choice to listen. Regardless of our choice however, it happens. It happens because He goes to work to fulfill His commandments. He makes, divides, and creates so that there is a change. When He does that it is always good. He does not create bad. The difference with us is if we get the blessing He has in store for us. If we follow His commandments, we have the chance to feel His hands going to work to change things for the better. Regardless of the difficulty, it is for the better. Everything He created was good. 

So even if they seem more difficult than ever, it it doesn't make sense, or require more effort than you think you could possibly give, it will turn out good if we follow His commandments. Because He is right there, working along side us.

Attaining Perfection

Perfection. It is something that we are all striving for. Or is it? It is easy to get caught up in this idea that we have to do everything just right. We have to be perfect visiting teachers by preparing a lesson each month and offering our help each visit to our teachees. We aren't a good teacher if we don't spend hours on cute, frilly handouts. Little slips ups in our day are what sends us to condemnation. After all, a little sin is still a sin. We get this idea that being righteous means that every second of every day we need 100% faith, 100% perfect choices, and are to never question, doubt, or slip up. And we have to do it all on our own.

I used to have this distorted view that in order for me to reach exaltation, I need to be perfect on all of the commandments, even the small ones. Then, I will qualify for the atonement, which will let me to be resurrected and ready for the celestial kingdom. I know that I am not alone in this thought. Brad Wilcox, in his talk "HIs Grace is Sufficient", told a story of one of his students who shared similar feelings. I remember when I was younger wishing that I should have been baptized when I was 80, because I felt I had messed up too much, I had ruined my baptism at 8. And I was going to continually mess up. So I should have postponed it until my life and mess ups we near over. Then I could wash them all away and I could be perfect when I died.

After all, aren't we commanded to be perfect?

In 3 Nephi 12:48 the Savior says to the Nephites, "Therefore, I would that ye should be perfect, even as I, or your Father who is in Heaven is perfect." He continues on to say in 3 Nephi 27:27, "Therefore, what manner of men ought ye to be? Verily I say unto you, even as I am."

Yes, righteousness is needed for the celestial kingdom. Worthiness is required to make covenants in the saving ordinances performed on Earth. However, sometimes our views of righteousness and what is required of us can get distorted. Satan likes to work on us. He wants us to believe that because we make mistakes and aren't perfect, we are not worthy at all. No matter how small the mistake is. But if this were true, then we would be set up for failure. A loving Father in Heaven would not set us up for failure. And we know that He is loving in two ways. The first is he asked us to call him Father. The being seth all powers of earth and heaven does not ask us to call him a power hungry name, but Father.

The other way is actually the key to attaining perfection. 

John 3:16 states: "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."

This is the scripture that is on a poster at every major sporting event for a reason. Believing in Christ is what power by which we return back to Him and Heavenly Father. But merely believing is not enough. Acting upon that belief, or having faith, is what brings us back. So the question is, what exactly do we have to do?

2 Nephi 31:20 gives us the keys to eternal life.

"Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father, Ye shall have eternal life."

Notice that is doesn't say, "Be perfect, make all the correct decisions and then you can return." It can't say that . That was essentially Satan's plan. He wanted to remove the power of choice and making your own decision. Agency was advocated, even though Heavenly Father knew that meant that we would make mistakes. If we weren't to make mistakes, He would not have sent Christ. So if we think that our own personal perfection is demanded, isn't that rejecting the atonement?

Ok, so perfection is not demanded, but it is still used in the verse.  A little confused? "Having a perfect brightness of hope." Does that mean our faith has to be 100% perfect all the time? I think that is a little bit of wishful thinking. A perfect brightness of hope means that you always hope that God is there loving you and answering your prayers.

So what is the difference?

I remember a time when I was 14 and I didn't exactly believe Heavenly Father was there, but I hoped that He was. So I got down on my knees, praying and pleading until He gave me answer. It was my hope, in a time of lacking faith, that drove me to pray.

Elder Snow of the Seventy, said, "This 'perfect brightness of hope' of which Nephi speaks of is the hope in the Atonement, eternal salvation made possible by the sacrifice of our Savior."

So it is our hope in the atonement that perfects us. This leaded to the question, "How can something that redeems me from my sins help me to become better when I am not sinning?" Being redeemed is just one aspect of the atonement. While very important, there is so much more to help good people become better ones. 

Elder Bednar gave an awesome talk at BYU on this very subject. This is a clip of his words. 

Have you ever embarked on a project, having no idea what you are doing? What is your first action? Some might pridefully say to themselves, "I can do this. I am smart. I can figure it out on my own." And then after falling short a couple of times, what do they do? They realize that they need to ask for help.

When you fail, or are lost, you ask for help. Usually you ask someone who knows what they are doing. After receiving guidance, you realize that you can do it. 

Who better to go to when trials, problems and temptations arise than the Master. The one who resisted all temptations, overcame all challenges, and solved all problems. The one who felt your every "pains and afflictions and temptations," who took upon him your "pains and sicknesses," so that he could "know according to the flesh how to succor [you] according to [your] infirmities" (Alma 7:11-12). He learned how to succor you, so let him.

So that brings on the next question. How?

Elder Bednar gave an example from Nephi in the same talk.

"Nephi is an example of one who knew and understood and relied upon the enabling power of the Savior. In Nephi 7 we recall that the sons of Lehi had returned to Jerusalem to enlist Ishmael and his household in their cause. Laman and others in the party traveling with Nephi from Jerusalem back to the wilderness rebelled, and Nephi exhorted his brethren to have faith in the Lord. It was at this point in their trip that Nephi's brothers bound him with cords and planned his destruction. Now please note Nephi's prayer in verse 17: 'O Lord, according to my faith, which is in thee, wilt thou deliver me from the hands of my brethren; yea, even give me strength that I may burst these bands with which I am bound.'

"Brothers and Sisters, do you know what I likely would have prayed for if I had been tied up by my brothers? My prayer would shave included a request for something bad to happen to my brothers and end with the phrase 'wilt thou deliver me out of the hands of my brethren' or, in other words, 'Please get me out of this mess now!' It is especially interesting to me that Nephi did not pray, as I probably would have prayed, to have his circumstances changed. Rather he prayed for the strength to change his circumstances. And may I suggest that he prayed in this manner precisely because he knew and understood and had experienced the enabling power of the Atonement of the Savior. 

"I personally do not believe the bands with which Nephi was bound just magically fell from his hands and wrists. Rather, I suspect that he was blessed with both persistence and personal strength beyond his natural capacity, that he then 'in the strength of the Lord' (Mosiah 9:17) worked and twisted and tugged on the cords and ultimately and literally was enabled to break the bands."

I remember as I was really starting to get sick, I would pray to remove the illness. When that didn't work, I prayed for an answer to fix it. When that didn't work, I realized that my prayers had been all wrong. I began to pray for the strength to make it through the day. And I was able to. I realized I could focus on my class, then have the energy to come home and do homework.

Another example to apply this to weakness and spiritual struggles. I struggled when I was younger for a spiritual weakness for a long time. It was something that I had struggled with for as long as I could remember. One day, I was fed up with it. I started to pray to Heavenly Father to help me to stop. When I did this, the situations when I struggled with saying no didn't stop coming. It was the strength to say no and change directions that came to me each time that I prayed for it.

Going back to Brad Wilcox's talk, he said, "When a young pianist hits a wrong note, we don't say he is not worthy to keep practicing. We don't expect him to be flawless. We expect him to keep trying. Perfection may be his ultimate goal, but for now we can be content with progress in the right direction. Why is this perspective so easy to see in the context of learning piano but so hard to see in context of learning heaven?"

I took a class on the current apostles from Lloyd Newell (the voice of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and General Conference). He emphasized that we didn't believe the prophets and apostles to be infallible. They were still men and it was okay for them to make mistakes as men. So if the men who are called as especial witnesses of Christ are allowed to still be human, why do we demand ourselves to not be?

I used to get very down and hard on myself whenever I would make mistakes. Everyone would know it too because I would become very withdrawn, and I wouldn't look anyone in the eye because I was trying not to cry. Now I am beginning to understand that it is okay that I am not perfect. Heavenly Father asked us to be perfected, not perfect. That means that I need to put forth my best effort, and ask of His help along the way. 

2 Nephi 25:23 says "for we know that it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do." After all we can do is not when we are done with this life. It is meaning as we put forth our best effort. Be our best selves, and Christ will make us enough. It is not only after we want to give up pulling the hand cart, but it is in each step we took with the hand cart, that Christ has his hands on our backs, guiding us along. It is not only when we are at our whit's end with a friend or family member from giving all of our help with no return, but in each action of mercy and help we give them that we are guided in what to do and say.

One of the last scriptures in the Book of Mormon sums up its entire message:

"Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all of your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye shall be perfected in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God (Moroni 10:32).

Too often we think the order is be perfect, then Christ will receive you. He will receive you no matter what. The order of how we do things is to come to Him first, then he will perfect you.

Once you come to him, then will his power begin to make you the person He knows you can be. Love him with all you have. Love him throughout all of your missteps, failings, and strugglings. That is when his grace will pick you up, dust you off, and say, "Let's do this, together." When you feel yourself walking into darkness, let your "perfect brightness of hope" in His atonement and grace light the way. I believe with every fiber of my being this to be true. He cares with all of the love possible and then some about you, He wants to help you. Let him in, then you will begin to see the changes you wish to see.

For further study:
Becoming Perfect in Christ by Elder Gong in the July 2014 Ensign
Forget Me Not by President Uchtdorf in the October 2011 Conference

2 Nephi 31:20- Pressing Forward

Today I was studying 2 Nephi 31:20 and it came at me in a whole new way. It was impactful enough I think it will be a good idea to share it.

This scripture is a road map as well as a promise. If we will do certain things, then there will be a reward of something that we truly want. 

Our side:

• Press forward- there will be many things in our way and darkness over our paths, but if we take it one day at a time, one step at a time, we will be able to overcome the difficulties of the road.
• Steadfastness in Christ- He is our guiding light and our foundation. Keeping our eyes and heats on Him each day will help us to be able to make the journey home.
• Prefect brightness of hope- Hope is essential. Hope in Christ. That He lives and he completed the Atonement. Hope in His power over death. That hope will light the way to our eternal home.
• Love of God and all men- Love will be what motivates us to make righteous decisions. Our love for God will help us to want to be able to do what is right so that we can please Him and return to Him after this life. It will motivate us to serve purely and with all of our hearts. Those two things will be essential on our journey home.
• Feasting upon the word- It is not enough to munch once in awhile upon the word. We will miss essential inspirations, spiritual moments and doctrinal insights in our lives. When we feast on his word, we continually seek for, study, and want to know more of His gospel.
• Endure to the end- We can't just do these things once and then check it off, never returning to it again. This is a daily to do list. We have to hold fast to the gospel throughout the torrential downpours, landslides, and quicksands of life. This is not a gospel of convenience. We don't follow it only when it suits us, when it fits best in our lives. There will be challenges. With it a voice calling for us to let go. Hold one even when it doesn't make sense. When you do, it will make sense in time. Enduring is the final key because it tests us and our faith. As well as helps us and our faith to make it through each difficulty of life. 

Promise: "Ye shall have eternal life"

It is interesting that it doesn't say make perfect choices. Or have 100% righteousness. It doesn't say to be a super mom, super Relief Society president or super visiting teacher. In order to receive Eternal life, we are not required to have super human traits. Heavenly Father knew that we weren't going to be prefect, but He also wanted us to return to live with Him. That is why He sent His Son to suffer for our sins, overcome death and set the example of this lives that we need to live. He does not require us to try to do it on our own, even though our pride and Satan will want us to try. It is merely required that we give our best. Not to be the best, but to be our best. And these are the keys to get there and achieve it. Our best will always be good enough. We cannot fall short if we use every aspect of the atonement to do all that we can to be the best that we can be.

Talks for further study:

"In the Strength of the Lord" by David A. Bednar at a BYU Devotional on October 23, 2001

"The Strength to Endure" by Richard J. Maynes in the October 2013 General Conference

Turning to the Lord for Comfort

There is a song called "I Am" that has particularly impactful in my life recently. It was shown to me by my Book of Mormon teacher, and it has been in my life ever since.

It is a story of a woman who turned to the Lord many times in her life at different stages and trials. She called Him by the names that she knew him as, as well as why she needed from him at the moment she needed him. 

With each plea she makes a different statement that represents the different stages that we all go through with our faith and reliance on him.

1. "Come if you can"- I'm not sure if you love me, but if you do help me

2. "Be my best friend"- I am alone, are you there?

3. "Hold onto my hand"- I can only do this with you

4. "Lord and King, Beginning and the End"- Thy will be done

I want to go through each of these stages, and the importance that they have in our lives and faith.

"Come if you can"

This is the earliest stage of our faith. How can we know of the truth without first a hope in it. Hope that the Savior is there. Hope that what we are being taught is true. We are unsure if he is there or truly loves us. Not us as a people, but the individuals that make up the "us." Our first questions are: "Are you there?"

"Do you love me?"

"Is the Atonement real and can it work in me?"

When we ask with a hope of an answer, really wanting to know, He will respond ,"I AM."

Ether 4:12-15 helps us to learn that we need to first gain a belief in the scriptures and the words that He has spoken. It begins by getting rid of the questions of unbelief and turning them into questions we want to know the answer to, hoping for answers. When we do that, great and marvelous things will be revealed to us.

"Be my best friend"

Just because we believe in the Lord, it doesn't mean that everything is going to be perfect and easy. Once you have faith, it has to be tested. Ether 12:6 states that after the trial of your faith, a witness of the truth comes. During these trials, loneliness might come. It might feel like you are abandoned by everything and everyone. Still, there is one, ready to be there for you, if you call for him. And when you do, your faith becomes a little more solidified. Hope becomes belief that He is there and cares for you.

From Alma 7:11-13 we learn that He did not just suffer for your sins. He suffered ALL. Every little pain, tear, heart break, unkind word and temptation that you have felt and will feel in this life. Why are you so important? Why do your pains matter? In D&C 18:10 He says your should is of great worth. From the one who has all power, you are great to Him. He knew this life would be difficult. So He suffered everything that "his bowels of mercy may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities." He wants to be there for you. You just have to call for him, and ask him to be your best friend. He won't fail you.

"Hold onto my hand"

As we make Him our best friend, we will see just how difficult our tasks in this life will be. Sometimes pride will turn us into the three year old that says, "I can do it by myself." Then we will inevitably fail. We will pick ourselves up again to try once more, only to fall back into the mud. It is when we are brought into the depths of humility that we see his hands extended to us (Jacob 6:5). When we reach for it, we will not want to let go until we pass through the trial. That is when we will cry to hold onto our hand. And He will. It is only when we, ourselves, let go that we will fall again. But when we cling with all of our might to the Savior's hands, we can pass through the rocks, over the hill-climbs, stay out of the crevices, and be brought back into His presence. As we do this, our faith will become knowledge. We will know and trust Him. We will not want to do anything without his help and strength.

Ether 12:27 teaches us that we are given weaknesses, or stumbling blocks, so that we will see and know who is in charge. So we can see who it is that is changing us and helping us home. When we are humble, believing that he will help us change, that is when we can make weaknesses strengths. With the strength of the Lord, we are unstoppable (Philippians 4:13).

"Lord and King, Beginning and the End"

When we make this plea, this is a sign of true conversion. We fully recognize who is in charge and that His plan is greater than ours. Then we can say at the end of our pleadings to Him, "Thy will be done." We will be truly like the Savior when we say "Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me; nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done" (Luke 22:42), "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do" (Luke 23:34), "Behold thy mother!" (John 19:27), and when we have done all that is required of us, "It is finished!" John 19:30. No longer will matters of the world be our wants and desires. Our own needs will not be first. We will want to do the Lord's will first, the see to the needs of others. When both are done, we will see our needs will become filled.

In Alma 22:15 King Lamoni's father promised that he would "give up all that I posses, yea, I will forsake my kingdom, that I may receive this joy." He did just that and received numerous blessings. The final part of receiving true peace and comfort is giving all to the Lord, willing to do whatever it is that is required of us. When we do that, we will have the peace of eternal life and exaltation. Nothing can be greater than that. 

I have had experiences with each parts of these stages, although I don't claim to be all the way through each stage fully. My experiences with each of these parts don't matter. What matters is that you have your own experiences in these stages. That is when you will learn, having your unbelief turned to hope. Your hope turned to faith. Your faith turned to knowledge. And your knowledge turned to true conversion. 

I know without a doubt that our Heavenly Father and our Redeemer are there for each of us so that we do not have to climb through our trials alone. I have felt their hands in my life. It is my hope that each person that reads this will be able to come to that same knowledge, and feel the blessings of that knowledge in their lives.

Talks for further study:
"Lord, I Believe" by Elder Holland
Come, Join with Us by President Uchtdorf

Stalking an Apostle

First off, I apologize again for the radio silence. At least it was only a couple of weeks this time. It has much to do with the odd subject line, although probably not in the way that you would expect. I decided to make this post a little light hearted because of the seriousness of the last post.

So the last two weeks I have had an amazing opportunity to be a counselor for a program called Retreat for Girls at Utah State University. It is an LDS based inspirational program for girls ages 12-15. We lift, inspire and teach young girls and their testimonies in Christ. All while having loads of fun. And as a counselor, get next to zero sleep. It is the best part of my year each time that I have done it. 

Second session, when the girls were registering and meeting their counselors Elder Neil L Andersen walked through the door with his granddaughters. There was this sudden stop, then surge of panic through all of the counselors as to who would be entrusted with his precious posterity. We returned to normalcy once he left to drop them off at their dorms. We also were aware of another granddaughter of a different apostle that would be coming that week. That story is for a different time.

The week came and went way too fast. It was filled with joy, the Spirit, many inside jokes, disciplining, some tears, a few drops of blood, much more laughter, and amazing memories. By the end of the week, all of us counselors were exhausted. There were a group of us that were headed to various points between Logan and Provo and so we decided that we should caravan together in order to ensure everyone's safe return home. But first, we needed to stop and eat because there was no dinner provided Friday night. After cleaning up all of our hall decorations, packing up all of the stuff we brought plus the extras we got that week, then saying drawn out goodbyes to our dear, newly made friends, we got to Jimmy John's at about 9:30 at night. 

Two of the girls were worried about making it home without falling asleep and so they broke their personal standard and had caffeine for the very first time. They were nervous to see how it effected them, but they knew they needed something to ensure a safe drive. We laughed, reminisced, and carried on despite the workers trying to close around us. At about five after ten, I watched this older couple walk through the doors. The workers informed them that they were closed, so they turned around and began walking to their hotel across the parking lot. When the man turned, it hit me as to why the man looked so familiar. I exclaimed, "Guys, that's L. Tom Perry!" Due to the lack of sleep we all had, it took a couple of times of me saying it for the majority of the group to understand what I had just said. In a mad rush, we grabbed our trash and got out of the restaurant at world record setting pace. The workers were immediately confused and sadly said, "Ok bye." Most of us were too distracted to even think of those who rudely turned away an apostle of the Lord.

When we got out of the restaurant, all kind of stopped short. There he was walking hand in hand with his wife walking slowly to the other side of the lot, and we had no idea what to do to get his attention. So of course the first thing you do is pretend to try to find your car. We had about 6 cars there, but of course he was walking past ours so we needed to quickly come up with another way to pretend run into him. 

With our tired minds drawing complete blanks, we followed him to the door of the hotel that he and his wife were staying at. Their key cards weren't working as so we watched him struggle to open the door. Before we could think to offer to help him, a man staying the hotel opened the door for him. They walked in, and our hopes of meeting an apostle quickly faded. The man who opened the door saw our disappointed faces and held the door open for us. We rushed in to see if we could find him. Somehow his aged legs had once again outran us, as we walked into the empty lobby. At this point we kind of regrouped, trying to figure out what had just happened. We asked the girls who just drank caffeine for the first time how they were feeling, and one explained that her heart was racing. Between the panic and the caffeine we could all tell she was a little excited. 

As we caught our breath and lowered our heart rates, we once again saw Elder Perry and his wife walk through out the door. Our hopes immediately shot back up, and rushed back out of the lobby after them. We didn't make it past the first row of cars in the lot, suddenly realizing how fast our chances were slipping away. I had the random idea to jump in front of his car, so that he would have to hit me, then check to see if I was okay. Another counselor added on that I might get so hurt, he might have to give me a blessing. 

There were three cars leaving at once, so figuring out which one was his was a little difficult. We slowly walked out into the parking lot, only to watch Elder Perry's wife drive there car very slowly out of the lot and our sight. Dragging any hopes of meeting him with them. 

At this point, we were still in shock in what was going on. Then one of the counselors shouts, "I'm going to tell those Jimmy John's workers what they just did!" Back across the parking lot we go, and she informs them what they did. The worker she talked to was some high school punk, who just really had no idea who an apostle was, let alone that he turned away one. We walked out and stood on the side walk, and laughed about the events that happened, and the many ways that we messed up. We joked about how it was because of the girls breaking their personal commitments to obtain from caffeine that we had this experience. It was probably the best way we could have ended two amazing weeks of cultivating the spirit. I think we are all still in awe of being able to even be near such an amazing man. 

On our drive out of the canyon, I talked with the counselor that I was driving home about what had happened. I told her of an experience 5 years ago, when President Monson sat in front of my high school music group. I talked about how sad it was that the kids had no idea who he was. Then we talked about their special callings and all that being an Apostle entails. 

Apostles have an amazing spirit with them. They have the opportunity to commune with the Savior on a different level than you or I. They are called to be special witnesses of His name. They also hold all of the keys of the priesthood. Because of this, they have the spirit with them constantly. As I reflect on this experience, I have come to realize something. The reason why we were so excited and willing to stalk Elder Perry across a parking lot is because we knew what his calling was. We were drawn to the spirit within him, and we wanted to partake in it. We were hesitant to call out to him because we didn't want to bother him. We were like the Woman with the issue of blood, where we wanted to have our spiritual wounds healed, but didn't want to draw attention to ourselves. 

This has made me think. How will I react when I see Christ again? Will I turn them away, not knowing he is? Will I turn away, afraid of him being able to see all that I have done? Maybe I will follow after him, trying to continually see him, but unsure of whether or not I will be a bother to him. Or will I call after his name, so that I can fall to his feet, thanking and worshipping him. 

Just seeing Elders Perry and Andersen was enough for me to know that they are in fact apostles of the Lord. Feeling of the spirit they carry with them, and seeing the light within their eyes, I know without a doubt they are special witnesses of the Lord. I didn't need to meet them personally to know their words are true, and that they have a special love for me, as a member of this church. But it also gave me a new resolve. I want to be able to have the courage to call out to the Savior, or a representative of him, and present myself as worthy to be in their presence. I want to be able to show my testimony through my eyes, confident of the truth that I know. I don't want to do it out of being able to say that I met them. I want to do it to show them that "I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ" and I am doing all that I can to be a worthy member of his church. They will see that just by looking into my eyes. And I want to be ready for that.